Once upon a time, there was a young man named Narcissus, admired by all for his breathtaking beauty. His mother, Nymph (Goddess) Liriope, once asked the fortune-teller Tiresias about his fate. He gave her a strange warning: Narcissus will live a long life—so long as he never truly knows himself.
Among those who loved him was Echo, a nymph cursed by Hera to only repeat the last words spoken to her. Desperate for his attention, she echoed his words and followed him through the woods but he rejected her, leaving her heartbroken. She faded away until only her voice remained.
One day, after an exhausting hunt, Narcissus stopped by a still pool to rest. As he leaned down to drink, he saw a face in the water—his own. And for the first time, he truly saw himself. He was mesmerized. The reflection felt familiar yet unreachable. He tried to touch it, speak to it, understand it—but every time he moved, it disappeared. He sat there, unable to pull away, longing for something he could never truly have. Days passed, and he grew weaker, consumed by the illusion. Eventually, he collapsed into the water and drowned.
The End.
Well, it wasn’t entirely the end for him—because his name lived on. What was once Narcissus in Greek mythology has now become the English term “Narcissism.”
The Modern Misuse of Narcissism
It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot these days. Thanks to TikTok pop psychology, 10-second therapy takes, and social media buzzwords, Narcissism has been stretched, overused, and often misapplied. What was once a clinical diagnosis has now become a catch-all label for anything from toxic behavior and selfishness to plain old confidence. So before we dive in too deep, let’s quickly define it. According to Merriam-Webster, Narcissism is: “Extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance; marked by or characteristic of excessive admiration of or infatuation with oneself.”
Narcissism is a trait inherent in all humans, serving as a survival mechanism. However, like any characteristic, it exists on a spectrum. When this trait becomes unbalanced, it can dominate our behavior. So, what distinguishes narcissism from setting boundaries for the sake of your peace?
The Fine Line Between Peace and Avoidance
"I’m just tired of this—I’m blocking them. They’re draining my energy, holding me back, and I don’t have time for this. Ugh."I've heard this statement more times than I can count—especially while sitting across from clients discussing their relationships with their family, friends, or romantic partners. And let’s be honest, you’ve probably heard it too. Maybe from a friend, maybe from yourself.
Yes, this is just a small moment in a much bigger story, but let me ask you this—when you hear someone say this, what is your first reaction? Do you pause and reflect on why they feel this way? Or do you, like so many, respond with “ block them! Protect your peace—it’s 2025!” And I get it. Some of you reading this might shrug it off because it’s all too relatable. Heck, I’ve done it before too. Every situation is different, and sometimes, removing yourself from harm is the right decision. But is it always?
Here’s the real question: Is the nature of peace a predisposition to our environment or a disposition shaped by our responsibility and choices?
Western Individualism: A Culture of "Me First"
The purpose of Western individualism was rooted in the pursuit of freedom—the ability to create one’s ideal life without the authority of the church dictating personal choices. This movement led to the separation of church and state, also known as Secularism, which has allowed various religions, including Islam, to coexist in the West. And in many ways, this is a good thing. It means people are not forced to adhere to a particular religion or be obligated to follow certain practices. Instead, individuals have the freedom to choose their own identity, shaping their beliefs and way of life on their own terms.
When we think about the human mind in psychology, we naturally gravitate towards these two questions : what is innate, and what is learned behavior? When discussing Western individualism, how much of it is truly an inherent human trait, and how much is a learned behavior shaped by society? If much of what we consider "individualistic values" is a social construct, then how are these values being used to justify narcissism? Are we mistaking a conditioned mindset for something natural—or worse, using it to validate self-centeredness? I know I threw a lot of questions at you but these are the questions I will be answering throughout the post so I wanted to give you a head start to think of your answers before sharing my viewpoints.
Hyper-Self-Reliance: When Independence Becomes Isolation
Self-reliance is at the heart of Western individualism—the idea that you should solve your own problems, find your own solutions, and depend on no one but yourself. Many of you may already embody this mindset, whether it was instilled in you as a child, forcing you to fend for yourself, or because you migrated from a collectivist culture and were suddenly thrown into the "survival of the fittest" world of individualism.
Either way, you’ve mastered the art of hyper-independence—handling everything on your own and side-eyeing anyone who dares to offer help. Maybe you’re naturally suspicious of people, convinced that if you open up, things will inevitably go south. Or maybe you’ve taken your favorite rapper’s lyrics—“They be praying on my downfall”—a little too personally, using them to justify your delusion that disconnected you from reality.
And look, I get it—there might be real, valid reasons for feeling this way. But take a deep breath and relax. Because no matter how much you stress, what’s meant for you won’t miss you—and what isn’t was never yours to begin with.
But here’s where hyper-individualism becomes something more subtle. In today’s world, modern narcissism doesn’t always look like blatant arrogance—it often hides behind self-care, ambition, and confidence. It thrives in social media culture, toxic individualism, and a growing lack of accountability.
We see it everywhere:
Social Media Obsession & Performative Self-Love
Curating an “aesthetic life” not to enjoy it, but to be seen enjoying it.
Using self-love as a shield for self-absorption ("I don’t chase, I attract"—but do you reciprocate?).
Constantly fishing for validation through vague, attention-seeking posts ("Some people don’t deserve me...").
The “I Cut Off Everyone” Mindset
Bragging about having no friends or constantly cutting people off in the name of "protecting my peace."
Avoiding difficult conversations and calling it self-care, rather than learning emotional resilience.
Thinking accountability is an attack, making anyone who challenges you "toxic."
Entitlement in Dating & Relationships
Expecting everything from a partner while offering little in return.
Seeing relationships as transactional—valuing people for status, money, or looks instead of character.
Viewing love as a game of power rather than mutual care.
The Victim Complex & Lack of Accountability
Always being the victim in every situation while portraying others as villains.
Blaming everyone else for your problems while never self-reflecting.
Responding to feedback with defensiveness, deflection, or passive-aggressiveness ("Wow, I guess I’m just a terrible person then!").
Hustle Culture & The “I’m Better Than You” Mentality
Treating overworking like a badge of honor ("Sleep is for the weak.").
Looking down on people who prioritize rest and balance, as if burnout equals success.
Taking full credit for personal success while ignoring privilege, rizq, or the help received from others.
Hyper-individualism, when taken to the extreme, doesn’t just make people independent—it makes them disconnected, entitled, and emotionally detached.
The Rise of ‘Delulu’ Culture: When Individualism Fuels Self-Delusion
Earlier, I mentioned how mainstream social media apps—especially TikTok therapy 10-second video takes—have played a huge role in misusing and diluting the term "narcissism." But there’s another trend that’s equally fascinating: the rise of “Be Delulu” culture.
The idea? Convince yourself you already have what you want—whether it’s the “perfect” job, home, friendship, partner, etc—and it will manifest. It’s sold as a form of confidence, self-empowerment, and belief in limitless possibilities—but here’s the real question: At what point does this so-called "delusion" cross into entitlement and detachment from reality?
And this is where Western individualism comes into play. The cultural push for "Me First" thinking, self-reliance, and prioritizing personal desires above all else has created an environment where delulu culture thrives.
Western individualism has always championed the idea that you are the creator of your own destiny—but social media has warped this into an entitlement mindset—where people believe that simply thinking they deserve something means they should get it, no matter the reality of their situation.
This mindset fuels:
The Rise of “Main Character Syndrome”: The belief that life is a movie and everyone else is just an extra in your storyline.
The Manifestation Obsession: The idea that you don’t need effort, strategy, or patience—just “delulu” confidence to get what you want.
The Dismissal of Accountability: A growing trend where reality checks are labeled as “negativity,” and self-reflection is replaced with self-indulgence.
This hyper-individualistic approach disconnects people from reality and breeds narcissistic tendencies—where self-obsession is mistaken for self-care, and entitlement is disguised as empowerment.
Of course, having confidence and believing in yourself isn’t the issue. But when people start using delusion as a coping mechanism, ignoring red flags, dismissing accountability, and rejecting reality in favor of self-created fantasies—it’s no longer just “being positive,” it’s an escape from the truth.
At its core, Delulu Culture feeds into the idea that reality is optional, and if something doesn’t align with your desires, it must be wrong.
Islamic Values: A Foundation of Collectiveness and Accountability
Unlike Western individualism, which often prioritizes personal freedom above all else, Islamic values emphasize collectivism—the idea that we are part of a larger community (ummah) and have a moral responsibility to care for one another. Islam encourages self-awareness and personal well-being, but not at the expense of our duties toward others. With this comes both rights and accountability—we are responsible for how we treat others, just as they are responsible for how they treat us.
For example, Islam forbids cutting ties impulsively or “blocking to protect your peace” without first making a genuine effort to address the issue directly with the involved party. Avoidance is not the Islamic approach to conflict resolution—communication, reconciliation, and accountability are.
“And do not turn your nose up to people, nor walk pridefully upon the earth” (Quran 31:18)
From Fitra to Hyper-Individualism: Ibn Taymiyya’s (RA) Take on Moral Responsibility vs. Narcissistic Detachment
Ibn Taymiyya, RA (may Allah be pleased with him) was one of the few Islamic scholars who deeply explored the concept of fiṭra—the natural human disposition that instinctively recognizes God’s oneness. But he didn’t stop there. He argued that fiṭra isn’t just about belief—it’s also our built-in moral compass, guiding us toward justice, truth, and goodness while making us feel uneasy in the face of oppression and wrongdoing.
According to Ibn Taymiyya (RA), our fiṭra naturally aligns with virtue and justice because these qualities bring inner peace and fulfillment. When we act with honesty, mercy, and trustworthiness, it’s not just about external rewards—these values feel internally satisfying because they resonate with our God-given nature.
Have We Detached from Our Fitra?
Stop and think: How much of our daily interactions with family and friends truly align with the fiṭra? Have we become so focused on self-preservation and emotional detachment that we’ve lost the ability to have meaningful conversations without fear of losing power?
This directly contrasts with Western hyper-individualism and the rise of “Delulu” culture, both of which prioritize self-perception over objective reality. Hyper-individualism encourages the idea that you are the main character, that your desires matter above all else, and that detaching from accountability is a form of self-care. Meanwhile, “Delulu” culture glorifies self-created fantasies as a pathway to success, convincing people that reality can be molded by sheer belief rather than effort, patience, or divine will.
But Islam teaches something different. Fiṭra grounds us in reality rather than trapping our minds in self-isolation. It reminds us that we are not the sole architects of our destiny—our lives are shaped by divine wisdom, our relationships, and our moral responsibilities toward others. When we detach from fiṭra, we risk replacing truth with delusion, accountability with avoidance, and connection with entitlement.
True peace isn’t found in self-imposed isolation or endless fantasy—it’s found in the balance of self-awareness, moral responsibility, and trust in Allah’s guidance.
Final Thoughts
The myth of Narcissus may be thousands of years old, and at first glance, it might seem far removed from your life—especially with how dramatic and extreme his story ended. But myths aren’t meant to be taken literally; their purpose is to reveal nuances about human nature—patterns we can recognize in ourselves if we’re mindful enough.
The fortune teller warned: "Narcissus will live a long life—so long as he never truly knows himself." But what if the real danger wasn’t self-knowledge, but the lack of it?
Had Narcissus truly understood himself, recognized his fiṭra (innate nature), and stayed connected to reality, he wouldn’t have been consumed by his own illusion—he wouldn’t have ignored Echo, the one who truly saw him beyond his reflection. Instead of drowning in self-obsession, he could have looked beyond himself and found meaning in connection rather than isolation.
Which brings me back to my original question: Is the nature of peace a predisposition to our environment, or a disposition shaped by our responsibility and choices?
Because many of us do the same thing. We mistake avoidance for peace, cutting off people or rejecting accountability in the name of "protecting our energy." But if peace only exists when we eliminate discomfort, is it truly peace—or just an escape from responsibility? Here’s the truth—many of you are like Narcissus, drowning in entitlement, pride, and detachment, ignoring the very relationships that could have grounded you.
And then there are those of you who are Echo—chasing validation, enabling the arrogance of others, running through the woods trying to please them—until you lose yourself in the process.
Narcissus found what seemed like peace in his reflection—stillness, admiration, and a world where nothing challenged his view of himself. But was his sense of peace genuine, or was he merely hiding behind a comforting illusion?
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